


Guidance

by aruarudayo



Series: Words With Friends [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 10:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2187531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aruarudayo/pseuds/aruarudayo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I really don’t know what 'I love you' means.<br/>I think it means 'Don’t leave me here alone.'" - Neil Gaiman</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guidance

**Author's Note:**

> prompt from shianneurami@dreamwidth

Dave would be the first to say he didn’t grow up in a normal household. By day, he would get tossed around by his older brother, and by night he would be assaulted by puppets. Supposedly, this was meant to make him stronger, but there’s speculation as to whether that is actually the case. 

Because really, Dave just feels inadequate and weak, every day. He’s never really had any proof otherwise, since he never once bested his brother in any sort of battle. Bro wasn’t warm in any way, shape, or form, and at this point, any sort of affection from him would just make Dave uncomfortable, but regardless, a part of him sought approval. Bro was his brother, his father, his mentor, his guide; Bro was his entire world, a hero he knew he would never match.

So the game mystified him on several occasions.

He was expected to be a hero. He had to be Bro’s caliber in order to be a hero though, and since that was impossible, he couldn’t be a hero. He wasn’t a hero. John could be a hero, Rose and Jade could too, and he…he could jump through time to make things right. But no, he wasn’t a hero.

Then Bro died. Dave never considered heroes to be immortal, but there was a small inkling of himself that believed his brother could survive anything. 

Yet there he lay, unmoving, his own sword running through the center of his chest. 

Dave ran simulations in his mind, wondering if it was possible to jump back to help him, even though heroes don’t need help. He didn’t have the guts to do it though; after all, against something capable of taking down a hero like Bro, he didn’t stand a chance.

Bro never taught Dave how to react in these situations; what did one do when faced with loss? When something was gone forever with no way back? What happens next? 

So Dave didn’t know what it meant to mourn for a loved one. It was hard to even comprehend that, after all the one-sided beatings they called strifes, the nightmares caused by facefuls of puppet ass, and the cold nature of their relationship, Dave loved his brother.

However, one thing that Bro did teach him was loneliness. Staring at his body brought out that familiar melancholy he felt in the apartment when his brother was out, the oppressive silence that filled every room while simultaneously leaving them painfully empty, the disorientation that comes with not knowing what to do next.

So when the tears start to fall, Dave isn’t mourning his brother. He just doesn’t want to be alone. 

He doesn’t want to be lost.


End file.
